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Unstoppable-Man Discussion
Fore-Warning: Unstoppable-Man might have a brand new name as "No More Heroes." Anyways, this is my spin on the superhero genre.

Review/Critique Template
  • Chapter Title(s)
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This is just the basic template. Feel free to add anything that you feel is appropriate in your review. If I have the chance, I will respond to any concerns, questions and vice versa you may have. Have fun!
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A good goblin? There might be, if we just looked. But I think... The only good goblins are the ones who never come out of their stinking holes!

I'll go ahead and start things off with a simple comment about how I honestly feel about this story: slightly disappointed.

Not because of the content or your method of story telling. In fact, it was probably one of the most interesting short stories I have ever read and introduced a very specific mindset that immersed you into the character. The most vivid and wonderful aspect of this story is in the fact that as the narrator of the story, you were able to immerse yourself in that overall ego driven mentality of the main character. The overall trite and very blunt explanations of condemnable acts like spouse abuse were perfect in conveying that sense of how far gone this hero character truly has devolved.

I do have to say that I found this story concept to be very similar to the Incredibles, where the overall negatives of heroism are starting to play a factor. This isn't a criticism, it's actually more of a compliment because your method I explained above in creating this persona for Unstoppable Man was better than the entire movie imo, even if it was designed for children to enjoy and isn't a deeply complex story. However, the problem is that I believe you intend to turn this whole story into the beginning of NMH, a wise move. But at the same time, creates a problem in setup, if this is the current end result.

So simply put, the only reason I'm disappointed is because I'm not exactly sure if this is the end of the short story. I feel as if this character is turning into a villain, but at the same time, I don't really know if there's more content coming or if this is the actual end to the short story. If it's the latter, then I would say that while this is a good short story, it needs to show the actual damnation of the persona here if you intend for this to serve as a good setup for your villain.

As well as the fact that I'd just like to see more from you as an author Smile

Overall Rating: 9/10
"What do you call a Vegeta and a Goku? Vegetto sounds alright." - Meet Vegetto
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