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MI Fanfic DBX 2: The Black Rose Discussion
#1
[Image: dbx_2__the_black_rose_cover_sketch_by_th...bdxagm.png]
Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2: The Black Rose




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Hey guys! This is just another thread created for the purpose of discussing the story at your leisure. I wanted to create a separate thread for this because this board will just serve as commentaries and opinions about the story, rather than requiring you to review or critique something about it. Overall random things you've read that you simply want me to see as an author, questions about points that may be confusing, or just simple talk about what you read and what you enjoy/don't enjoy are all welcome here in this board!

Only rules I ask for are simple courtesy towards others when discussing things in this board and simple respect for my time. As well as limiting what you would like to see in the story to "suggestions". Which, to put bluntly, means don't just blatantly command me to write a shipping or a situation into this fic because you want to see it. I welcome ideas and overall different approaches to heroes, villains, relationships, etc. and have taken some ideas thrown at me before in the story, but I will not tolerate those who aggressively demand me to make changes without proper courtesy or criticism.

Thanks everyone, and have fun! Smile
"What do you call a Vegeta and a Goku? Vegetto sounds alright." 
[Image: SACYXY9.jpg]
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#2
Something popped up in my head when I read your latest chapter and it seems to be a recurring theme for the last couple of chapters. Are you adding all new information/content of Dragon Ball as you progress your story? Although I do understand the temptation to include all these new and juicy information regarding Dragon Ball into your work, I would advise making sure it does flows with the chapter consistently so it won't be distraction xD

For example, Yamoshi is not the original Super Saiyan God, he only became the first Super Saiyan on Planet Salada. In Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods, Shenlong specifically states that the original Super Saiyan God appeared on Planet Vegeta (the six Saiyans unintentionally created the SSG ritual) - which Yamoshi is dead and a spirit at that time:

Quote:In a certain sense, they are the same person. That is to say, very long ago, before Planet Vegeta was the Saiyans’ planet, there was a man named Yamoshi who had a righteous heart despite being a Saiyan. He and his five comrades started a rebellion, but he was cornered by combatants and became a Super Saiyan for the first time, though his transformation and fearsome fighting style shocked the other Saiyans. Outnumbered, Yamoshi eventually wore himself out and was defeated, but this was only the beginning of his legend. Afterwards, Yamoshi’s spirit wandered in continuous search of six righteous-hearted Saiyans, seeking a new savior: Super Saiyan God.

It's nothing bad or anything. It reminds me of Dragon Ball: New Age, where the artist kept putting all the new content of Dragon Ball in the fan comic that it just becomes distracting. Best leave it alone for a while (or just don't use it at all) until you figure out to fit it in.
[Image: 1eX7gWK.png]

"What dimension is this?"
"All of them."
"That's great, then we can live everywhere!"
"Everywhere you will die."
"Haha- what?"
"You, your family, everyone will die. Over and over. Mountains of broken bodies beneath the wheel."

Content: My Art | No More Heroes | Good Days | Kaiju Man | BoogaVerse
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#3
(12-30-2017, 02:05 PM)ShineCero Wrote: Something popped up in my head when I read your latest chapter and it seems to be a recurring theme for the last couple of chapters. Are you adding all new information/content of Dragon Ball as you progress your story? Although I do understand the temptation to include all these new and juicy information regarding Dragon Ball into your work, I would advise making sure it does flows with the chapter consistently so it won't be distraction xD

For example, Yamoshi is not the original Super Saiyan God, he only became the first Super Saiyan on Planet Salada. In Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods, Shenlong specifically states that the original Super Saiyan God appeared on Planet Vegeta (the six Saiyans unintentionally created the SSG ritual) - which Yamoshi is dead and a spirit at that time:

Quote:In a certain sense, they are the same person. That is to say, very long ago, before Planet Vegeta was the Saiyans’ planet, there was a man named Yamoshi who had a righteous heart despite being a Saiyan. He and his five comrades started a rebellion, but he was cornered by combatants and became a Super Saiyan for the first time, though his transformation and fearsome fighting style shocked the other Saiyans. Outnumbered, Yamoshi eventually wore himself out and was defeated, but this was only the beginning of his legend. Afterwards, Yamoshi’s spirit wandered in continuous search of six righteous-hearted Saiyans, seeking a new savior: Super Saiyan God.

It's nothing bad or anything. It reminds me of Dragon Ball: New Age, where the artist kept putting all the new content of Dragon Ball in the fan comic that it just becomes distracting. Best leave it alone for a while (or just don't use it at all) until you figure out to fit it in.

In a sense, I understand and of course, do note the issue of inclusion of new content into the story. However, in an attempt to not spoil things here, I would like to point out a couple of details:

-This story relies on the exploration of “time alteration”, so the current events being thrown at you are how the unchanged timeline existed. The progression of the plot may indicate a construction of history, so what you are currently seeing as lore will potentially change. If that makes sense; don’t want to spoil anything here for you yet xD

-There is a little more being set up here too. Bardock’s introduction, IE, should create a loose end in terms of logical occurrence that will be a plot point much later on for a later story (depending on how much effort i can devote to this series, I want to have this be a leading plot detail that will come into play for the biggest villain in the series). So somethings that may seem confusing now, I might already have a plan for. But by all means, I am not perfect and I hope there are more issues you can poke out that I have not covered. This, however, is mostly thought out.

So with that being said, I think this topic is better explored a bit later so then you can pick out the execution of those small details.
"What do you call a Vegeta and a Goku? Vegetto sounds alright." 
[Image: SACYXY9.jpg]
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