The Boogaloo Crews
First Writing Competition - Printable Version

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First Writing Competition - ShineCero - 10-20-2018

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This is a new (and final) competition series called the Dickens Essayists Series. It is an writing competition exclusive to Modern INKers, that challenges anyone to construct a story in any themes. As with the other two competitions, there will be awards, feedback to improve your skills and the chance to expand your writing ability outside of your comfort zone. 

This is a test competition: Starting on October 20th, you will be given 11 days to complete it. The theme of the competition is relatively an easy one:
  • Freestyle: You can write whatever (in any forma such as original, non-fiction, fiction, poetry, fan-fiction, etc.) and however you wish! Everything is on the table for this one, folks! Join for fun and help iron out the details to improve the next Dickens Essayists Competition.
  • The requirement is a minimum word count of 300 and the maximum is 1500.
  • You simply post your story; you will received feedback to help you improve!
  • If it's mature, warn your readers with a "Mature Rating" warning, so they know what they're getting into.

RE: First Writing Competition - ~ Z ~ - 10-21-2018

I'll give this one a shot. I've been itching to try out new things lately. Do we c/p our short story and put them into spoilers, as usual?

RE: First Writing Competition - ShineCero - 10-21-2018

Yep! Just simply post your story here and placed them under spoilers to avoid scrolling text.

RE: First Writing Competition - ~ Z ~ - 10-31-2018

Short, sweet, and to the point.  I guess you can say I entered my story with a bang.maybe

RE: First Writing Competition - LoopyPanda - 10-31-2018

Better late than never! Mine is Bloodborne fanfiction, but I think it's understandable to anyone who hasn't even touched Bloodborne. There's really no huge spoilers in it in terms of the story, but the game has also been out for 3 years, so I think I can get away with it.

Btw Bloodborne is mostly reliant on your interpretation, so my ideas about anything going on could be way off since I haven't finished the game yet. Might be a smidge over 1500 words.

RE: First Writing Competition - ShineCero - 10-31-2018

Here's my entry! This is one of the early projects I was working on, so I made a ton of changes. Currently 1400 words (originality 2600...) :p

RE: First Writing Competition - Grey Star - 11-06-2018

You know if I get off my ass I suppose I can write stuff on time as long as I have the proper ideas.

RE: First Writing Competition - ShineCero - 11-09-2018

Lots of good stories! As of now, this competition is now closed. I will laid out the details of how this works in upcoming days (to be a standard for future competitions).

RE: First Writing Competition - Grey Star - 11-10-2018

Thoughts on the competition: The word count was fair. Enough to force effort, but also enough that I wrote mine as a first draft with I think a thousand words in two hours after about three days of thinking. It was interesting that everyone chose a fantasy story. Granted, Z's was very realistically done in the Discord she stated it was based off a moment in the story about a genius scientist who invents incredible things, and Shine's was seemingly realism until the very end, mine was entirely fantasy despite it all being set in someone's imagination.

Onto individual stories:

I can't really judge grammar stuff and I'm bad at picking up spelling mistakes so I'll mostly give thoughts, but it won't be a solid critique by any means.

Z: Not much to say here, other than it is a fine entry. Very somber, very serious tone. I can't say much other than it succeed as a story, moving me and being believable. Only issue I had is that if someone's face is burnt off, well half of it, they probably can't speak entirely clearly. Now, I may be wrong, as I've known someone who could perfectly understand people who had major facial damage when others in the room couldn't. Heck, myself and my mother more often than not understand distorted speech better than my father or brother do.

Loopy: The primary thing that gets me here is the timeskip. In terms of story structure it just feels rather strange, especially with the length. It goes from an introduction of the state of Yharnam to a major revelation about the state of Yharnam, two different major ideas, in the span of 4 sentences, bridged by the development of the relationship of the hunter and the doctor. It just throws me off. I would say that the shortness of the competition really might be the cause of that. In addition, the ending feels a bit strange to me. Possibly because I don't understand the references, but also because it feels out of the blue. There's no real set up to the hunter leaving to seek out Old Yharnam and Paleblood, and I feel that element of the story would have worked better if it was introduced with the hunter waking up. The part about the mad hunter is fine after I read it three times though, mad hunters were set up earlier in the story and every game NPC warns player characters to not go to x place because y threat. Fine by me.

That said the story does work extremely well for someone like me whose knowledge of Bloodborne comes from three hours on the wiki out of curiosity and not even a game playthrough. So it is very well done in terms of accessibility. In addition, the hunter and the doctor act in very believable ways and I am completely invested into their story. The human element here simply works. I do not doubt that for a moment. I do not doubt the story for a moment. That is a good compliment that I can give the entry.

Shine: I don't know what to say here other than this is an exemplary example of fantasy realism I've ever seen. The details, the story structure, the writing, even the dialogue, every part of it is great and contributes to a feel of the story being an actual event. In addition, the mental dialogue of the narrator portrays a human being extremely well. I had to remind myself writing my thoughts that it was just a story.