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Z's Creativity-Boost Journal
It's about time the Evil Z made one of these!

So where to even begin?

For starters, let's start in what I want to do but I can't put the effort or lose my confidence in working on it. I have many works I want to complete but I feel as if I can never finish them because I'm either unmotivated or simply not good enough to accomplish it. I hope that this journal can help me move those thoughts away and give me a little confidence in the right direction. I guess that's me asking for too much, but I think it'll be a step in the right direction. My end goal with this journal is to see if I can accomplish one thing I say in this journal whether it's art, writing, or roleplay. So here are a few things I've been thinking about but never got to them due to me being ultimately scared of what people might think.


So we got the main goal here, no surprise. I wish to make my art better and pleasant to the human eye and not send people running in disgust. I have recently been practicing poses, particularly the profile view since I struggled greatly with it. My ultimate goal with my art is to be confident with a variety of poses so I can begin to draw out Kire's story. I wish to complete this more than anything I have set my mind to but I will not attempt it if I do not have a clue of where to begin (both story-wise and comic-wise). That's a planning issue, so I won't dive into that. Still on the art topic, I wish to create my first chapter for Behind The Thorns and actually have people read it. It'll be a while before I get to that point but just thinking about it makes me excited. I want to see how much of it I can get down. Another thing about art is that I wish to be able to recreate certain styles (like Toriyama from DBZ and Kazuki from YGO) I really like how these artists draw and I want to apply some of their tips and tricks to my own art and see what kind of flare it gives it.

One place I struggle immensely in my drawings is making the hands and the hand positions. I can never seem to get it down and I cannot draw a hand to save my life. I wonder if I'm just making it more complicated than it should be or if I'm not finding the right steps... 

So to summarize what I said above, I made a bullet list to help guide myself in my goals for Art.
  • Work with Poses
  • Finish Kire's Story (Behind The Thorns)
  • Mix my style with other famous illustrators
  • Draw hands better

So in this tab, I want to be able to improve my writing and finish writing(or drawing) Behind The Thorns. Kire is my baby and I love him so much since he's pretty much how I was in the past and how I am now. My main goal is to be able to write an engaging story with strong characters and send my message as a positive notation to those who read it. The message being that: "Everyone should get a second chance, but not everyone deserves it." I would also like to hopefully improve my sentence structure and see where I can fix my way of saying/telling the story. Overall, the writing aspect of this journal isn't grand, just something pretty straightforward.


This is a big one for me. After a situation that happened, I have absolutely no confidence in my roleplaying skills altogether. I feel as if every time I try to prove myself in any RP, it kinda goes no where/too boring/trails off for something else. Maybe that's just me (probably is) but if that is the case, I want to better myself so I can actually make my characters entertaining when talking to others. I sometimes struggle to do anything with my character because I usually think that no one will like it. I try my best to make things unique but keep some things that everyone is familiar with. Sometimes I feel like my best is not good enough, especially after I thought it over for years.  Basically, my end goal with Roleplaying is to improve so I don't end up boring people or ruining their experience. I don't know how I will improve but I primarily aim for story and character, not power and how destructive my OC can get. Maybe this is just me, but I like working really hard to reach top. It gives me a sense of accomplishment rather than just being an automatic 'universe buster' It's easy to make a super strong character that blows up planets and universes, it's harder to accept when they lose to a 'non universe buster'. I think it's silly.

But anyway, my overall goal is this:
  • Not be boring
  • Not ruin anything
  • Entertain
  • Contribute something worthy
I think the Roleplay tab is a bit opinionated on my part, but feel free to let me know your thoughts. 

I don't know what to write to wrap this up.
[Image: MbVtHfX.jpg]
"They Call Me the 'Vibe Checker', Sweetie..."
As some of you might have seen, I made these drawings for Sketchuary and even posted them in my art thread but I also made them for the sake of this Journal thread too. I wanted to leave my newest drawings here and compare them to any later drawings I might have. I noticed I have improved in body types. For example, a while back I made Kire very handsome and bulky and just dripping with good looks. As time went on, I realized that a hacker is not exactly the bulky type (or even good looking). Kire is pretty skinny, almost underweight from a mix of not eating (from not having enough to eat) and constantly on the move. He does have a few muscles thanks to the life he lives but compared to Judas and Mozart, he can never come close to their strength. I did decide to keep Kire as a sprinter. He's so used to running and those leg muscles have grown strong! 

Judas is a different story and he's not exactly 'thin and weak' like Kire is. Obviously Judas works out and he's got muscles to show for that but even more obvious than that is how scarred his left side is. He lost his eye, a finger, and his skin is burned. Originally I was going to have Judas be Kire's best friend that betrayed him (Thus his Biblical name) but I decided to change him into something much darker. It took me a long time to think it up but I finally made Judas exactly how I envisioned a ruthless gangster would be. Even then, a 'gangster' is not really the right word to describe him. More like a determined malicious leader. He started off bad but now he's really bad. However, despite how bad Judas is, even he has standards. He does not like people who sexually abuse children (he outright kills them) and does not force himself on a woman. This does not mean he won't hurt a kid or a woman it means that he won't stoop as low as a pedo or a rapist. 

"When y'force shit on people, they start to go against you. I like t' break 'em and show 'em that they can't do anythin' t' me. Everythin' they do, every step they take, they see me closin' the door t' freedom. When all the light in their eyes is snuffed out, they get numb and once ya manage t'do that, they'll do anythin' you say to feel alive again..."

I changed a lot about Judas over time, even now. He was suppose to be your typical Mob leader (which is kinda is) but with more human mistakes and personality. Judas knows he's not perfect and he knows his flaws.
[Image: MbVtHfX.jpg]
"They Call Me the 'Vibe Checker', Sweetie..."

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